Monday, February 1, 2010

Personality Crisis

I have recently starting going to a bible study called MOMS at our church. The first day we filled out a personality profile. I am sure many of you have heard of it, it's called Wired that way. I thought this would be very easy for me to do because I was pretty confident I knew exactly who I was. I was very surprised when my results came out and I was two completely opposite personalities. At first I was like so what, im a little of this and also this. But as I continued to fill out my profile I read that the two personalities I thought i was detected a personality mask. a personality mask, huh?

So i decided to have my husband help me whenever I got home. My husband lead me to an even bigger problem, he saw things about myself that i didnt see. So I filled out the personality profile just one more time and i finally found a personality haha YAY! If you are wondering I am Perfect Melancholy and Peaceful Phlegmatic. These two personalities are fine together, they actually complement and are not complete opposites.

I got to thinking about why and what masked my identity and made this so hard for me to fill out. The biggest things i can think of are 1) i am pregnant and who i am changes like the weather in Houston lately and 2) I am a young mom who has gone through very dramatic changes in just a little over 2 years!

A little background to my story, in college I was quite the wild animal. I pretty much felt invincible and didn't really have a care in the world but my own personal happiness. This is not to say I didnt get my things done! I still graduated with a 3.4 and worked throughout. =) The last semester of college I found out i was pregnant with Madison and got married. After I graduated i moved to Houston where my husband works and became a stay at home mom. This at first was a huge struggle for myself because i was always a go getter and social butterfly and now I was home with an infant. I love staying home with Madison but it is a completely different life style than I had gotten so used to in college.

This the reason for my identity mask! I am changing as a person and i think for the better! The first day in the bible study the teacher read scripture, I regretful didnt write it down, that really spoke to my heart. It went something along these lines; making everything you do reflect the Lord in a good way. This really opened my eyes because I am right where I am supposed to be!! I am playing with my child, cooking dinner, cleaning house, doing laundry, waking up in the middle of the night, and watching television with husband all in the name of the Lord. I may not be teaching a classroom full of children like I had planned but I am raising a family in the name of the Lord, which in my opinion says a lot and is also difficult at times.

When you are pregnant with your first child people have no problem telling you how different your life is going to be because you have to change dirty diapers and worry about another human 24 hours a day and blah blah. The one thing no one told me about was the "identity crisis"  and this has been the hardest thing for me to cope with so far. I have heard of a lot of moms who have gone through this same 'identity crisis" when they had children. I would like to hear your story and how you figured out your identity and if it is still a struggle! SO SHARE.... I WOULD LIKE SOME COMMENTS YOU CREEPERS =)

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